Meet Our 10 Goblin Dentists!

Old Grobnob

Operates from a Tree Stump – 4/5 Stars

"Had a nasty cavity, deep down. Found Old Grobnob operating from a petrified oak stump. The 'moss anesthesia' had me seeing sentient mushrooms, but by golly, my toothache vanished! He used a sharpened antler for the drilling, felt a bit like a badger gnawing, but surprisingly effective. The suspicious molar exchange was a bit much though – what happened to my original molar, and whose is this slightly glowing one now?!"

Snikt

Deep Cave Clinic – 3/5 Stars

"My 'enchanted plaque removal' involved a tiny, chittering creature with too many legs brushing my teeth. It tickled horribly, and I swear it tried to make off with a silver filling, but my teeth genuinely feel... cleaner? The goblin dentist, Snikt, never spoke, only grunted and pointed with a shard of obsidian. Ambience was a bit damp. Still, no more dragon-breath, so that’s something."

Gumbl

Vending Machine Vanguard – 5/5 Stars

"Who knew an abandoned soda machine could house such dental genius?! My tooth was throbbing, so I slipped a coin in and out popped a goblin named 'Gumbl'. He didn't speak much, but his precision with a sharp squirrel bone was astounding. Plus, he left me a tiny, shiny pebble as a treat! My teeth haven't felt this alive since I was a wee lad. Five stars, despite the faint smell of stale crisps and fear."

Poxx

Under-the-Bridge Dweller – 3.5/5 Stars

"Got a suspiciously shiny gold tooth after a trip to a 'dentist' living under a bridge. It glows faintly in the dark now. Keeps the nightmares away, mostly. The 'cleaning' involved a badger. Two and a half stars for existential dread and a new nightlight."

Grishnak

Disused Well Practitioner – 5/5 Stars

"My gums were bleeding like a stuck pig after a feast. 'Doctor' Grishnak, who operates from a disused well, used leeches and then a glowing fungi paste. Honestly, never felt better! Bit messy, but effective. Five stars for creativity and lack of judgment!"

'Stitch'

Abandoned Chicken Coop Dentist – 3/5 Stars

"My wisdom tooth was bothering me. The goblin in the abandoned chicken coop pulled it out with what looked like a pair of rusty tongs. Painful, but quick. He also tried to trade me a shiny button for my extracted tooth. Three stars for the unexpected bartering experience."

'Chitter'

Old Outhouse Healer – 4/5 Stars

"Had a rogue tooth that wouldn't stop growing. Goblin named 'Chitter' in an old outhouse convinced it to recede with a series of unsettling chants and a poke from a sharp mushroom. My mouth feels... weird, but functional. Four stars for the mystical approach."

Gnashfang

Abandoned Mine Shaft – 2/5 Stars

"Gnashfang's 'drill' was a perpetually vibrating beetle. The whole experience was nauseating, and my tooth still aches. He tried to pay me in shiny rocks. Zero stars for the beetle, but one star for the novelty. Two stars because I didn't lose any limbs."

Rattlejaw

Swamp Hut Hideout – 4.5/5 Stars

"Rattlejaw's 'gum graft' involved using a live, enchanted vine. It stung like a thousand nettles, but my receding gums haven't bothered me since. The taste of bog water and regret was a small price to pay. Highly recommended for... persistent gum issues."

Snaggletooth

The Whispering Cavern – 5/5 Stars

"Lost a tooth in a tavern brawl. Snaggletooth replaced it with a perfectly crafted shard of obsidian. It's sharper than any normal tooth I've ever had, and the cave where he works has the best acoustics for practicing my evil laugh. Five stars for aesthetics and moral support!"